Today, I happened upon an amusing blog called Glib and Superficial, operated by one "Gentleman Farmer" and his "Hired Hand." Once I read their posts for Dec. 21st, I determined that I had to engage in some thorough plagiarism and provide them below, with an equally generous "hat tip," of course.
First, you must check out Denominational Santa. How do each of the Christian denominations perceive of Santa? Here's a taste: "Presbyterian Santa delivers presents based on his own inscrutable election, and not on account of any merit; but niceness is evidence that the person is one of the Elect, so we do expect to see presents going to the nice -- but only because they're elect, not because they're nice." HAHA!!
After that, watch this genius video that someone put together of Jack Bauer interrogating Santa (as a forewarning, Jack calls Santa an "s.o.b." at the end):